Young!Feanor Drabble

[martal0712.livejournal.com]

Hey guys,

I recently posted a drabble over at my journal:

http://martal0712.livejournal.com/29178.html

It is about a young Feanor who is still learning his craft. And I think I struggled to capture the voice of a young Noldorin elf. I wanted to him in-character but didn't want it to sound too "high" because he is still more or less the elven equivalent of a teenager.

If anyone has the time and interest, I would really appreciate have a Feanatic look over the drabble for me. Does the language seem out of place anywhere? Are Feanor's actions true to how you think he would act?

Thanks in advance.

Comments

[tehta.livejournal.com]

Yes, I have read 'Tis and Malachy's A Monk Swimming. They both have more books, though, that I have not even seen. I just remember Angela's Ashes as having some musings on miserable Catholic childhoods and various moral questions interwoven with the text, but I could be confusing it with some other Irish novel.

I love the Barrytown trilogy, as I am a big fan of humour-with-meaning. I also admire The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, and bring it as an example whenever people claim that writers cannot use opposite-gender POVs effectively.