Young!Feanor Drabble

[martal0712.livejournal.com]

Hey guys,

I recently posted a drabble over at my journal:

http://martal0712.livejournal.com/29178.html

It is about a young Feanor who is still learning his craft. And I think I struggled to capture the voice of a young Noldorin elf. I wanted to him in-character but didn't want it to sound too "high" because he is still more or less the elven equivalent of a teenager.

If anyone has the time and interest, I would really appreciate have a Feanatic look over the drabble for me. Does the language seem out of place anywhere? Are Feanor's actions true to how you think he would act?

Thanks in advance.

Comments

[tehta.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the typo.

I don't mean to get into a heated discussion about this or anything: my general stance is that, if there is an inconsistency in Tolkien's work, I don't really care which of the versions an author decides to run with. In the case of mother-names, the Shibboleth says that "the mother-name was given later, often some years later, by the mother; but sometimes it was given soon after birth." And the later Quenta Silmarillion says that Miriel started languishing "when she had named [Feanor]" and that "Finwe was sad, for it seemed an unhappy chance that a mother should depart and miss the beginning at least of the childhood days of her son." So, well. It's inconsistent.