(no subject)

[ford-of-bruinen.livejournal.com]

For ladyelleth who asked for a poem based on the following passage

"[Nerdanel] retired to her father's house; but when it became clear that Fëanor and his sons would leave Valinor for ever, she came before him before the host started on its northward march, and begged that Fëanor should leave her the two youngest, the twins, or at least one of them. He replied: "Were you a true wife as you had been till cozened by Aulë, you would keep them all, for you would be coming with us. If you desert me you desert also all of our children. For they are determined to go with their father." Then Nerdanel was angry and she answered: "You will not keep all of them. One at least will never set foot on Middle-earth." "Take your evil omens to the Valar who will delight in them," said Fëanor. "I defy them." So they parted."

Begging and betrayal.


Rarely I saw
through the veil of times to come
but this time,
in this madness
and everlasting darkness,
I saw a glimpse
of what was to be.

And so I went to him
who my heart still desired,
he who had once shone brighter
than the two trees combined.
I came to him pleading,
begging for mercy,
not for myself
but for my youngest sons.

His eyes shone of hurt and fury
that I would beg for them
but not for him.
Yet I knew I could no longer leash him,
no longer offer calm
to his fiery spirit,
he was too strong for me.

He blamed my choice
to return to my father
to desert not only him
but the sons I had borne,
he did not understand
that his fire consumed me
drank my soul
as it had once drunk his own mother's

When he threw my choice in my face,
his voice colder than ice,
spitting out his hatred for one
that had broken oaths and kinship
like I had
my calm broke.
I told him then what I had seen
that were he to take the youngest from me
he would slay a son
for one, I did not know which,
would never set foot
on the other shore.
He would be lost
and damned
by the choice they had made

He laughed at me then
taunting me to hide
in my father's house
under the protection of the Valar.
Our sons would go with him
and not with me
and my omens, my sight,
was no more
than female hysterics.

Then he turned and left
while I struggled for words
to convince him
of the truth, of reason, of calm.
I stood frozen
and once I found the words,
the strength to move,
they were gone
and my youngest son
would die.