Young!Feanor Drabble

[martal0712.livejournal.com]

Hey guys,

I recently posted a drabble over at my journal:

http://martal0712.livejournal.com/29178.html

It is about a young Feanor who is still learning his craft. And I think I struggled to capture the voice of a young Noldorin elf. I wanted to him in-character but didn't want it to sound too "high" because he is still more or less the elven equivalent of a teenager.

If anyone has the time and interest, I would really appreciate have a Feanatic look over the drabble for me. Does the language seem out of place anywhere? Are Feanor's actions true to how you think he would act?

Thanks in advance.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Gotta love HOME!

Yeah, you do. Tolkien apparently loved his tales so much he wanted to tell them (at least) twice - pity he chose to not be consistent. ;-)

Having never read the Silm portions of HOME, I had to rely on the Silm. In which it says:

But in the bearing of her son Míriel was consumed in spirit and body; and after his birth she yearned for release from the labours of living. And when she had named him, she said to Finwë: "Never again shall I bear child; for strength that would have nourished the live of many has gone forth into Fëanor."

Then Finwë was grieved, for the Noldor were in the youth of their days, and he desired to bring forth many children into the Mist of Aman; and he said: "Surely there is healing in Aman? Here all weariness can find rest." But when Míriel languished still, Finwë sought the counsel of Manwë, and Manwë delivered her to the care of Irmo in Lórien. At their parting (for a little while as he thought) Finwë was sad, for it seemed an unhappy chance that the mother should depart and miss the beginning at least of the childhood days of the son.

"It is indeed unhappy," said Míriel, "and I would weep, if I were not so weary. But hold me blameless in this, and in all that may come after."

She went then to the gardens of Lórien and lay down to sleep; but though she seemed to sleep, her spirit indeed departed from her body, and passed in silence to the halls of Mandos. (Of Feanor and the Unchaining of Melkor)

So I take from this the following events.

a. Miriel gives birth and is "consumed in spirit and body"
b. Miriel says she can't have more children
c. Miriel is handed over to Irmo (before the "beginning at least of the childhood days of her son")
d. Miriel dies

I guess it does not say explicitly how much time passed between her being handed over to Irmo and her lying down in the gardens of Lorien and dying. But there's just no indication that it's a long time which I would expect.

Bless Tolkien! Can we agree that the canon is contradictory enough that there's room to support either interpretation? And it's a matter of preference which version we choose to predict.

[martal0712.livejournal.com]

Uh, that last comment was by me. Just forgot to sign in.

[rhapsody11.livejournal.com]

LOL, but given the time between the Essecarme and Essecilme... that is at least 10 years. Sure, long for us Edain, but for elves. So when it says: Finwë was sad, for it seemed an unhappy chance that the mother should depart and miss the beginning at least of the childhood days of the son. It can be that Tolkien mentions that. 10 years is nothing for an elf and will pass for them 'quickly'. :) But it wasn't directly after birth that she decided to pass on, there is some time in between so that at least she could name him properly (and very fitting) with his mother-name.